Energy

On St. Patty's day, we went to that pub my Kmart and listened to some rock music. Lance ran into some people that he went to middle school with. There were three of them. The girl in the group was going out with one of the guys and she confessed to Lance that she had a crush on him when she was in highschool. She smacked him on the butt when we were leaving. Whatever. Wishful thinking on her part, bitch.

In any case, right after that, we went to Ichabods and that place was much more mellow and less crowded. Thank goodness. I don't do drunk crowds very well.

While at the second location, we watched Lance win some money on the slot machines, had some burgers (pretty good) and then we had a really good conversation about energy and...it was a pretty deep conversation. It was just Lance, myself, and James. They were talking about drugs and the different affects it has and then it went to how it opens ones mind and gets rid of the walls that we give ourselves.

Most of the drugs they were talking about, I have never done before. But what they spoke of, I don't need drugs to understand. I think it is my background and culture that allows me to understand that not all things can be explained by science. We talked about how everything had energy and how what we do can affect the things around us.

For myself, I know there are things around us that we cannot name or explain. That's okay with me. I accept that there are some things that I will never understand but I am open to learning it if that is possible. I think that this is what some people have trouble accepting. They have a certain picture of how they want things done and how they want things to be in their world. If it doesn't make sense to them, a wall comes up and conflict ensues because there is no understanding between each other.

There are some things and some people that I will never jive with. I'm okay with that. I can choose not to associate with them. I will be civil. I don't see a reason not to be. After all, there are so many different perspectives that explain the mysteries of the world, it wouldn't make sense to try to force an answer/view on anyone just because one thinks that one's view is the right one.

Take my mother for instance...she's raised in the animalistic shaman culture but has since then embraced being a Jehovah Witness. In doing so, she renounces what she once believed and that is a conflict in interest. On top of that, she tries to get us onto the same boat with her and you know...seeing what we seen and being around shamans our whole life, how can you explain that? How can you explain the name changing ceremony? I truly believe that after we performed this ceremony for two of my siblings, they were healed.

Of course, when you ask her this, she says it was God's doing. Maybe it was the shaman who rode through the spirit road to locate the lost spirit and bring it home. Who can explain the battle that the shaman was in in trying to save the lost spirit? I can't. But I accept that something happened and it is such a profound experience to see this happening.

Sometimes I feel that I cannot express such thoughts because who can understand unless they live the same culture and/or have witnessed such an event.

I really do believe that everything happens for a reason and that dreams do reflect the future one way or the other.